Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Well it's official, Michael needs glasses. I took him to the eye Dr. because his left eye was turning in a little. I didn't know what they were going to do to examine him. He's not even 2 and isn't talking yet. Well the wonders of modern medicine. They dialated his eyes first and then used little spinning toys to watch his trcking and then a video of different farm animals. From that he came to the conclusion that Mikey is farsighted. I figured that they would give me a couple of exercises and possible a patch to make his left eye work harder. Well I was wrong. The Dr. said that he doesn't need surgery (thank God, I don't know if I could go through another surgery with him while he is so young. I can still feel his pain from the last 2 surgeries) so that was a bright spot but he then proceeded to tell me he would need glasses, that they would be pretty thick and "hopefully" he would be out of glasses by the time he was 6. Ok, that means by the 1st grade. Not too bad I guess. But the worst was yet to come.

I took him that day to get glasses. One of the 1 hour places. I can't say I wan't warned about the thickness, but when I say them on him for the 1st time I cried. Not a bawling cry (even though I wanted to bawl) but a slow rolling set of tears. It was so pathetic that another customer came over to me put her hand on my shoulder and told me everything will be OK.

Now someone who has a level head would say it's no big deal. But me, who it's amazing hats stay on my head only saw two things. Ridicule & Pity. Ridicule from his peers. Remembering all the names I was called when I got glasses. Him coming home upset and angry that he is forced to wear glasses. The arguments we will have about why he has to have them and how I will tell him the other kids are 'jealous' of him. Pity from people who don't even know him.

Aren't we all guilty of that at one time or another? We see a child with glasses that make his/her eyes really big. Or braces on teeth that are huge. Or any other of the 1000's of afflictions that children have to live with every day. Have you ever said "God forgive me but that child is ____ _____ _____" (fill in the blanks). Or "That poor baby" Or the worst "Thank God it's not my child". Now I know that I am comparing glasses to some major afflictions but Michael also has his cleft to deal with all his life. The scar under his nose. That will be forever. Most people say you can't even see it, but it is there. His speech delay. Which is correctable for the most part but I am tired of hearing "Is he talking yet? Well my child is saying her ABC's"

I happen to be a very sensitive person. My heart melts for kids. Most people know what I went through to get Michael. So for him to have to deal with ANYTHING else is a major blow to me. No matter how minor it might seem to the outside world.

Well I have to tell you that all it took was some time for me to get use to seeing him with the glasses for me to calm a little and realize that no matter what he is MY LITTLE BOY. He is really good with them too. He only flings them when he gets mad, which is only 3-4 times a day! But in the back of my heart I am scared for him and the people he will meet. But then again, I can't keep him i a bubble can I? Can I?

No comments: